Dream For An Insomniac

Tilly
Jamaica
free-spirited

For the longest time, Tilly thought that her bouts of sleeplessness had been something inherently chronic, a disorder she had acquired without being fully aware what it was exactly that had caused her to sleep for only 4 hours every night.

Yes, every night.

The answer finally came in a way Tilly never dreamt of: A couple of weeks ago, this daycare teaching assistant was at the beauty salon where her aunt worked as a hairdresser. As her aunt was busy prepping up one customer, Tilly sat around and joined the women for some beauty salon casual talk.

The women begun to talk about their families and communities, and Tilly relayed to the customer about how she had moved from Jamaica to New York at the tender age of 2 with her father. Her mother stayed behind, and Tilly’s last memory of her was that, as her mother bade her goodbye, she promised Tilly she would be following them shortly to New York.

The salon conversation deviated to more random things as the afternoon progressed. Suddenly, Tilly’s aunt, who has been taking care of her since she moved here to Brooklyn, blurted to her customer about how Tilly had been an insomniac over the years.

Without warning, the customer asked offhandedly that what if the reason for all this sleeplessness was that subconsciously, Tilly still awaited her mother’s arrival. It was then that the dam broke.

Tilly recalled that very first night she got to New York wherein she stayed up all night, an eager child awaiting her mom to walk in the door and tuck her to bed. The next night, it was the same. She stayed up into the wee hours of morning, waiting for her mother, until weariness finally made her close her eyes at dawn.

Sadly, Tilly’s mother never arrived to New York. She passed away eight years ago when Tilly was seventeen, and the reunion between mother and daughter never materialized since they last saw each other in Jamaica.

Tilly is truly grateful though to have finally uncovered the real reason behind her sleeping problem, no matter the pain brought about by the revelation. Ever the gracious person that she is, she was chipper when she remarked, “So after the customer said that, I cried and cried at the salon. But it was a good release. At least I know now that it was a lot more than just sleeplessness.”

So after discovering this, everyone around her hopes that Tilly will be able to sleep regularly now. She thinks it will still take awhile for her to do that. But the process to healing is always sidled with a promise that never remains unfulfilled, Tilly believes.